Competition

Most of us are competing in one way or other with somebody else in different spheres of life. All of us have a fairly good understanding of it and there is not much I have to say, which you don't know already. But as I started thinking about it, I thought I would write down my thoughts.

Question: Is competition relative or absolute? What difference does this make?

The fact is competition is always relative. Unless you have a person or benchmark to compete with, there is no meaning of competition. If there is a 100 meter record of 9.7 seconds, then you may try to break the record. You fail or you succeed. If there was no such record beforehand, there would have been nothing to compete for. When I attempted IIT-JEE 1998, I was competing against about 2 lakh students to get into one of the prestigious IITs.

So whats so important about being relative? Actually relativity makes a lot of difference. It means that you need to be only slightly better than your competition to succeed. Being no. 1 requires that you are only slightly better than the no. 2. That means that you don't need to put infinite effort in achieving your goals. If you put more effort than required, no one is going to give you any special points for it. As long as you have a slight edge over competition, you are fine. Rest of your effort you can focus on maintaining the lead. And rest of your time you can use for pursuing the better things in life.

Strategy: A strategy is needed only when you are competing. The objective of a strategy is to identify a path which will lead you to become slightly better than your competition. A strategy is always against a competition. Without a competition, there is no meaning of strategy. There is nothing like an absolute strategy.

Question: Is competing the purpose of life? Is being better than your competition the most important thing in life? Should one really care too much about being the best?

I really doubt it. Though my friends and colleagues may point out that I am one of the most workaholic persons around, but that's not the complete truth. The purpose of competition is survival. Survival is the basic requirement of life. Unless you survive well, you cannot do anything else. Hence a certain amount of spirit of competition is necessary for anybody. The catch is to identify where to stop competing and focus on other things. And its necessary to realize that survival is not the purpose of life at all. Survival is only a basic requirement of life.

Beyond that a lot of things lie. Different people have different things as important to them. For some its their family. For others its some other passion(photography, travel, etc.). Some yearn for the goodwill of the society as a whole (revolutionaries, social workers, saints). For me knowledge is what I aspire and crave for. And I look for it wherever I can find it. I wish to know more about how things work and how to build great things (mostly software). And that's what I do. That's what I focus on. And this is absolute and infinite. There is no end to it. The more I do, the more I realize that I know so less. And that keeps me going day and night.

Hope

Hope is the most hopeless thing in the world. As they say, even if you haven't got anything, you can always have hope. There is always hope. Is this truly correct? Think about it. When one is in good shape and happy, there is no need of hope. Only when one needs something more, or is in really dire situation, he needs hope. Hope exists as a companion of need/desire. If there is no desire, there is no need for hope also. What will you hope for?

When Dharmaraj asked Yudhisthir (in Mahabharata), what is the biggest wonder in this world. Yudhisthir answered: In this world everybody sees millions of living beings being born and dying everyday. But still one never believes in his own death. This is certainly the biggest wonder in the world. What is this wonder built on? On the hope that one will not die. Is it sensible, isn't it hopeless?

There is so much contrast in knowledge and belief. We all know that everything that has a beginning has an end. But we never believe that it applies on us also. Isn't this madness? Insanity?

The purpose of life

What is the purpose of life? A question which comes around often amongst us when we are in a philosophical mood. And no matter how much we think about it, we are never sure that we know the answer. Or may be we know the answer but we don't understand the answer.

I had once conjectured, the purpose of life is to sustain life. This essentially comes from the field of genetics. All around one sees organisms living and dying and procreating to keep the life going on. For most of the living creatures hence, the purpose of life is pretty much about sustaining itself only. The selfish gene theory says that, the fundamental role of a gene is to spread itself all around as much as possible. They are programmed to behave like that. Why they are programmed like that? The answer is simple. Moleculer structures which are programmed to spread will take over any other kind of moleculer structure in the long run. And the history of earth itself is 5 billion years. So naturally what survive over time are genes which are fundamentally selfish in nature.

But as human beings we have got a special faculty, the ability to think and reason about the world around us. To ask such questions like why we are here, where have we come from, what are we supposed to do, and where will we go. And the fact is the more we think about such things, the more it kills us. Seems like that metaphysical questions are designed behave like a self-destructive circuits in our metal makeup.

All the gurus say that as human beings, the purpose of life is to serve others. And they say, that whenever you serve somebody else, your own happiness is guaranteed. I am not good enough to put their concepts into my own words, but I must say that they appear completely logical and sensible when I read them or listen to them.

But when it comes to translate those ideas into action, procrastination sets in. I have thounsands of doubts as to whether I am doing the right things and, doing them right. The fact is that the world will keep on going even if I don't do anything. And it will come back to the same state, even if I do something. The circle of life is always there which takes you back to the place where from you started. So why really do anything at all?

At the top of the world

What happens when you are at the top of the world? I mean not at mount everest but at something which feels like the top of the world for you. All along one struggles hard and looks forward to the thing that you are desiring, yearning for, wanting. And one day, all of a sudden you are there. How do you feel?

I don't know about you, but I know what I felt. I felt sheer joy and I was full of ecstacy. And for some time, it felt like nothing could go wrong at all. In my thrill, I forgot completely that although I had come there, the only places I could go from there was below it. Everything looked perfect then.

And then I fell down. For although I knew how to reach there, I didn't know how to stay on and what to do there. I didn't know that the storms are at the strongest there, as there is nothing to lean on to to protect yourself.

I just sit here and comtemplate about what all happened. Now it all looks like a dream. Why did this dream happen to me I don't know. I don't have the courage and ability to try it again. Its probably a mirage in an infinite desert.

An affair

It was wonderful.

It was great.

And then it crashed.

Nothing was left.

aye saala

aye saala

abhi abhi huaa yaqeen

ki aag hai mujh mein kahi

hui subaah main chal gaya

suraj ko main nigal gaya

ruu-ba-ruu roshni heyy - 2

jo gumshuda-sa khwaab tha

voh mil gaya voh khil gaya

woh loha tha pighal gaya

kichhaa kichhaa machal gaya

sitaar mein badal gaya

ruu-ba-ruu roshni heyy - 2

(dhuaan chhataa khula gagan mera

nayi dagar naya safar mera

jo ban sake tu hamsafar mera

nazar mila zara) - 2

aandhiyon se jaghad rahi hai lau meri

ab mashaalon si bhad rahi hai lau meri

naamo nishaan rahe na rahe

ye kaaravaan rahe na rahe

ujaale mein pee gaya

roshan huaa jee gaya

kyon sehte rahe

ruu-ba-ruu roshni heyy - 2

dhuaan chhataa khula gagan mera

nayi dagar naya safar mera

jo ban sake tu hamsafar meran

azar mila zara

ruu-ba-ruu roshni heyy - 2

aye saala - 4

S. O. S.

Where are those happy days, they seem so hard to find
I tried to reach for you, but you have closed your mind
Whatever happened to our love?
I wish I understood
It used to be so nice, it used to be so good

So when youre near me, darling cant you hear me
S. o. s.
The love you gave me, nothing else can save me
S. o. s.
When youre gone
How can I even try to go on?
When youre gone
Though I try how can I carry on?

You seem so far away though you are standing near
You made me feel alive, but something died I fear
I really tried to make it out
I wish I understood
What happened to our love, it used to be so good

So when youre near me, darling cant you hear me
S. o. s.
The love you gave me, nothing else can save me
S. o. s.
When youre gone
How can I even try to go on?
When youre gone
Though I try how can I carry on?

So when youre near me, darling cant you hear me
S. o. s.
And the love you gave me, nothing else can save me
S. o. s.
When youre gone
How can I even try to go on?
When youre gone
Though I try how can I carry on?
When youre gone
How can I even try to go on?
When youre gone
Though I try how can I carry on?